How to Show and Not Tell in Your Writing (Part 2)
The number one piece of feedback I provide to my editing clients is, “show more, tell less.” The good news? This is a writing skill that can be developed and send you on your way toward becoming a published author.
Since this topic has been helpful, this is the second blog post on the topic. You can find the first blog post here.
Key takeaways:
The phrase “show, not tell” is defined.
5 examples of how to show and not tell.
Learning how to show and not tell in your writing is a skill that can be developed.
What is Show and Not Tell in Writing?
This is a writing technique that allows the reader to viscerally experience a scene or a character’s feeling. It is leveraging the five senses to build emotion rather than flatly stating what is happening.
Show vs. Tell Examples
To help illustrate some core examples of how to show, not tell, I’ve created a fictitious women’s fiction novel, (which if you like this book idea, it’s all yours!), with the following premise:
Book Title: “When the Sky Clears”
Book Premise: After losing her husband in a tragic accident, Leah must rebuild her life and reconnect with her dreams. Struggling to manage her daughter, a failing bakery, and her grief, she starts attending a dance class as an outlet for her pain. Through the women she meets in the class—each with their own stories of loss, love, and second chances—Leah begins to heal and rediscover her passion for life.
Let’s look at a few passages that might be written in this book and explore how we can expand them in a way that invites the reader in:
Telling: Leah was heartbroken over her husband's death.
Showing: Leah hadn't moved the shoes by the door in months. His faded jacket still hung on the hook where he'd left it that morning, untouched by her hand, but often held by her gaze.
Telling: She was nervous about starting her dance class.
Showing: Her hands trembled slightly as she laced her shoes, and her reflection in the studio mirror showed her chewing on her bottom lip. The instructor’s upbeat voice in the background felt like distant noise, drowned out by the thudding of her own heartbeat.
Telling: The bakery was struggling financially.
Showing: Leah counted the cash in the till, her brow furrowing as she flipped the OPEN sign to CLOSED. The half-empty display case taunted her with yesterday’s unsold muffins, their tops hardened under the fluorescent lights.
Telling: She felt isolated and alone.
Showing: At night, the empty house seemed to echo with silence. She ate dinner on the couch, the TV droning on with a show she wasn’t watching, while the empty chair beside her felt like a void pulling at her insides.
Telling: Leah was happy to be dancing again.
Showing: Leah’s feet moved in time with the music, her body swaying effortlessly to the beat. She hadn’t noticed the smile creeping across her face until she caught her reflection—flushed cheeks, bright eyes, and a lightness in her step she hadn’t felt in years.
In these examples, the emotional states and situations are conveyed through actions, physical descriptions, and sensory details rather than stating the feelings directly. This helps the reader experience the emotions with the character, creating a more immersive narrative.
Remember, this is a skill that can be developed with practice. You’ve got this!
For more writing tips and tools, check out Her Narrative’s writing resources.
