How To “Show, Not tell” (and actually do it)
Have you ever read a book and struggled to visualize the setting? More times than not, you’re experiencing what it feels like to read something that is TELLING you what is happening and not SHOWING you.
If you’ve ever heard the phrase “Show, don’t tell,” but wonder what the AF that actually means…
You’re in the right place.
Learning how to write in a way that shows the reader what is happening instead of telling them is one of the most significant ways to up-level your novel. But, it does take practice.
Key takeaways:
Understand what it means does it mean to show, not tell.
Explore two examples of showing, not telling.
We learn best when we can implement right away. Try an exercise to build your showing, not telling writing muscles.
What does it mean to show, not tell?
To show and not tell is a writing technique that describes what is happening using the five senses rather than summarizing an action with a flat or frankly, a boring descriptive statement.
What is an example of show, not tell?
Let’s say you’re writing a mystery novel and your main character is Detective Smith. Here is an example of telling the reader what Detective Smith is doing:
Detective Smith was determined to solve the case.
Did you feel any energy out of this statement? It’s a rather flat sentence. It doesn’t engage the reader and make them feel anything.
What did you learn from this statement? Sure, this sentence tells the reader that the detective is determined but aren’t most detectives?
Given that you are the writer of this mystery novel, how might you show the reader Mr. Smith’s determination to the reader?
Detective Smith's fingers tapped rhythmically on the worn surface of his desk, his eyes fixed on the crime scene photos scattered across it. He hadn't slept in days, and the stubble on his jaw hinted at the countless hours he'd spent chasing leads. The red string connecting photographs on his makeshift investigation board resembled a spider's web of connections, each strand a testament to his unyielding determination to unravel the mystery.
How does it feel after reading that description?
Do you feel more engaged in the story and setting? Do you feel his determination?
When we show the determination rather than tell it, readers can sync into the scene more and learn about the character.
Additional examples of showing, not telling
Here are two additional examples of how to show, not tell in your writing.
The planet was desolate and barren.
Ok, this starts to paint a picture. As a writer, shifting into showing might look something like this:
The wind swept across the lifeless landscape, carrying with it a gritty haze of dust that stung the skin. The ground, cracked and parched, stretched for miles without a single sign of vegetation. A solitary tumbleweed rolled across the vast expanse, its journey unhindered by any obstacle. The silence of the desolation echoed louder than any words could convey.
This description makes me feel something! (I kinda want to run away because I’m a beach gal, but this is fiction, right?!)
Let’s shift gears into a more positive feeling—love! Here is an example of telling the reader a character is in love, instead of showing.
She was deeply in love with him.
Here’s how this sentence could be elevated by showing us what love feels like:
Her heart raced at the sound of his name, and a blush crept across her cheeks whenever his eyes met hers. In the quiet moments, she caught herself tracing the lines of his face with her gaze, committing every detail to memory. The way his laughter filled the room became the melody she longed to hear, and the warmth of his hand in hers felt like the missing piece of a puzzle she never knew existed. Love, for her, was an unspoken language written in stolen glances and shared smiles.
Hopefully, these examples are making it more clear on the difference between showing and telling.
Show, Not Tell Exercise
Let’s build your showing not telling muscle, right here, right now with an exercise.
Take this telling statement and rewrite it in a way that shows the read what is happening:
Janice was scared.
Now, it’s your turn! Write 3-4 sentences that turn this telling statement into a showing statement.
If you are interested to know what I wrote, check out my showing statement in this YouTube video right around the 11 minute mark.
Want more examples? Head to part 2 here on the blog.
As a Developmental Editor, my role is to help you, the writer, up-level your novel in key areas that make the reader experience an unforgettable one. The goal is to engage a reader in a way that they love your book and hopefully recommend it to other people.
This is one of the areas I see often when working with clients on a novel’s development edit.
If you are seeking further support with your developmental edit, please book a complimentary call to learn how I can support your manuscript edits to make it a page-turner.
